Holding On and Letting Go
by Ms Chanadler Bong
Summary: Hey Guys! This is my first Shameless fic and it's basically about how Fiona deals with a new challenge that life throws at her and how she has to find away to deal with her past and make it help her future.


Fiona lay awake in her bed. It was going to be time to wake up the kids but she chose to spend the minutes before the start of the day's turmoil with her own thoughts. The past couple of months had been very hard on Fiona and none of it was going to get any easier, anytime soon.

Fiona's mind flashbacked to the moment she'd looked down at the white stick. She read and reread the box it had come in ten times. Two lines means pregnant, but this couldn't be happening, she couldn't possibly have it in her to raise another child. Sure she had a husband who'd willingly share the responsibility but was the child even his?

Fiona was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of her 7am alarm. She sat on her bed for a couple of seconds, taking a deep breath before going to face a new day.

"Kids! Wake up!" Fiona shouted from the door of everyone's room.

As she walked down the hall she threw the dirt laundry strewn about down the shoot that led to the kitchen floor. After quickly brushing her teeth, Fiona went down to make the kids' lunches. She toyed with the idea of whether or not to tell the kids what was going on.

"Morning." Fiona said, as she saw Carl and Debbie walk down the stairs.

Neither of them responded and took a seat at the table.

"Where is Ian?" Fiona asked.

"He's sleeping in." Carl said.

"Is he okay?" Fiona asked.

"I think so." Carl said.

"Okay, here's your lunches." Fiona said, placing two brown bags on the table.

"I need to tell you guys something." Fiona said, after a moment.

"Can it wait till after school? We're already late." Debbie said, grabbing her lunch.

"Sure." Fiona said.

Once the kids had left, Fiona decided to call up Veronica since she was the only one Fiona could talk to.

"Hey, could you come over? I need to talk to you about something." Fiona said.

"I'll be there with in 5. I'll get some supplies." Veronica said, which basically meant wine.

Before Fiona could tell V not to get anything, she'd already hung up.

Fiona took a seat at the kitchen counter as she waited for V. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice when Veronica walked through the door.

"So what is it that you want to talk about?" Veronica asked.

"I don't know where to start." Fiona said.

"This will help you clear your head." Veronica said, pouring some wine in a plastic cup and handing it to Fiona.

"I can't." Fiona said.

"What? Why?" Veronica asked.

"It's 9am." Fiona said.

"That's never stopped you before." Veronica said.

"Yeah but.." Fiona started but stopped.

"What are you pregnant or something?" Veronica asked.

Fiona didn't say anything; she just shrugged her shoulders.

"What? How long have you known?!" Veronica asked.

"I found out two days ago." Fiona said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Veronica asked.

"I didn't believe it." Fiona said.

"Have you gone to the doctor yet?" Veronica asked.

"Yeah, I gave a blood sample. I have to go to the doctor today for the results." Fiona said.

"What time's your appointment?" Veronica asked.

"I have an appointment at the 10." Fiona said.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Veronica asked.

"Would you?" Fiona asked.

"Of course." Veronica said, with a smile.

"Thanks V. Maybe I'm not pregnant, maybe it's a false positive." Fiona said.

"Yeah, maybe it is." Veronica said.

"I almost told Debbie and Carl this morning but then didn't. I don't know what I was thinking, I'm not even sure if I am pregnant." Fiona said.

"If you are pregnant, whose the father?" Veronica asked.

"I'm not sure." Fiona said.

"Who could it be?" Veronica asked.

"It's probably Gus." Fiona said.

"Probably? Who else could it be?" Veronica asked.

"Jimmy." Fiona said with an embarrassed look on her face.

"Fuck." Veronica said.

"I know but it probably isn't even him." Fiona said.

"And you might not even be pregnant." Veronica said.

"We should leave for the clinic, to find out for sure." Fiona said, looking at her watch.

Fiona and Veronica reached a little early and after waiting for about fifteen minutes, their turn came. They were made to sit in a small room with a bed in it and some medical equipment and cabinets filled with medicines.

"Fiona Gallagher?" The doctor asked, walking into the room.

"Yeah, that's me." Fiona said.

"So you gave a blood sample a couple of days ago?" The doctor asked.

"Yeah." Fiona said.

"Everything looks fine." The doctor said, going over the report.

"I wanted to know whether or not I'm pregnant." Fiona said, reaching for Veronica's hand.

"You are pregnant. Congratulations." The doctor said, with a smile.

Veronica and Fiona exchanged worried looks. Fiona didn't really know how to feel, she felt so numb. Most women would be happy to hear they were pregnant but most women didn't have six kids to raise. Most women knew who the father of their baby was. Most women aren't such a mess..

"How are you doing?" Veronica asked, on their way back.

"I don't know." Fiona said.

"This could be a good thing." Veronica said.

"How? We're barely surviving, how will we feed another kid?" Fiona asked, as tears began to fall down her eyes.

"If it's Gus' I'm sure he'll help." Veronica said.

"But what if it's not." Fiona said.

"You'll manage Fi, you always do. And Kev and I'll help you every step of the way." Veronica said.

"Thanks V." Fiona said, staring out the window.

Once they'd reached home, Veronica and Fiona were sitting on the stools by the kitchen counter. They were talking when Veronica's phone rang.

After arguing with the person on the phone, Veronica turned to speak to Fiona.

"What happened?" Fiona asked.

"Oh nothing." Veronica said.

"That didn't sound like nothing." Fiona said.

"It was nothing." Veronica said.

"V.." Fiona began.

"A pipe burst at the Alibi. I could go later." Veronica said.

"Go." Fiona said.

"They probably don't even need me." Veronica said.

"Go." Fiona said.

"Are you sure?" Veronica said.

"Yes, I'll be fine." Fiona said.

Veronica reluctantly got off the stool, gave Fiona a kiss on her forehead and left.

After a couple of minutes, there was a knock on the door.

"Oh come on! I'll be fine." Fiona said, as she opened the door.

In front of her stood a brunette of medium height. Fiona's heart began pounding at the sight of the man.

"Jimmy.." Fiona said.


End file.
